Revenge is a dish best served smelly
by CalyWraith
Summary: The two of them couldn't be made to tell anyone if their lives depended on it, but Hermione pulled a prank with Fred. Mild Fremione.


The two of them couldn't be made to tell anyone if their lives depended on it, but Hermione pulled a prank with Fred.

It was just after Draco had made her teeth grow considerably in size, and she had had enough. So, with the assistance of none other than Fred Weasley, the two snuck Essence of Elephant dung into his clothing, shampoo, and toothpaste.

Draco still doesn't know how that happened, and Fred likes to think of it as a date.

**Story:**

"And what do you think you two are doing?" Hermione stood, hands on her hips, glaring at the twin mischief makers who had, until she had shown up, been handing out some new invention to the first years. "You should be in bed!" She scolded and the first years took off quickly to their dorms.

"Relax Hermione, they were only Pox Marks chocolates, completely harmless." George shrugged.

"That's besides the point, you shouldn't be giving your pranks to first years!" She ranted.

"Then who should we give them to, 'Mione?" Fred asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Malfoy." Hermione replied before she could think. George smirked and turned to his brother.

"I think we can arrange that. Didn't we just come up with-"

"Now, now, it's Hermione's idea, it'll be Hermione's prank." Fred interrupted his brother, eyeing a pissed Hermione, not that anyone could blame her. He'd heard about Draco growing her teeth and had thought about hexing the git himself. George watched the two.

"Alright, since you two seem to have this under control, I'm going to bed." He faked a yawn and stretched. This seemed to bring Hermione to her senses.

"What? Oh no, I'm not actually going to... it was just an idea, just a joke..." Hermione trailed off, a thoughtful look in her eye.

"Oh come on, Hermione, you're really not going to get him back for what he did earlier?" Fred asked and Hermione's hand went to her two front teeth. "I heard about it and I wanted to hex him for you! Besides, I might have just the thing to put that bugger in his place." Fred gave her his signature wink.

"Really?" Hermione asked, skeptically. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look." Fred grinned and led Hermione to his room.

"George, you coming? I thought you were tired?" Fred asked when George hung back.

"Oh yeah, I'll be right up. I'm just going to clean up our products. Wouldn't want some poor first year getting their hands on them." George started gathering the product boxes they'd had sitting out with their samples and test-products in them. Fred nodded.

"See you up there." He gave a half-wave. George gave a half-wave back and kept stacking the samples in the boxes.

"It's around here somewhere." Fred mumbled as he rummaged around his trunk. "Ahh there you are!" Fred emerged with 3 vial smelling phials.

"What is that? It smells absolutely foul!" Hermione plugged her nose and Fred gave her a sheepish look.

"Sorry, the spell wore off. It's essence of elephant dung. George and I were going to use it for, well never mind, but out of the goodness of our hearts, we have decided that your needs are greater than ours, so we bestow this to you." He handed her the phials, which she took in her free hand. He grabbed a piece of parchment. "Well, let's go." He nudged her out of the room.

"We're going tonight?" Hermione asked, slightly panicked.

"What better time? Unless you want to hang on to that." He motioned to the stinky objects in question. Hermione gave the phials one last look.

"Lets go." The two headed through the common room, not noticing that George wasn't there. Just outside the common room, just out of ear shot of the Fat lady, Fred pulled out the parchment. _It's blank! Why would he bring blank parchment?_ Hermione thought, confused. He pulled out his wand and whispered so quietly she couldn't hear him. To her amazement, ink started showing on the parchment, forming a map!

"Brilliant!" She whispered. Fred turned to her and she blushed. "That's brilliant. When did you make this?" She asked, absolutely amazed at the level of talent and skill this must have taken. Fred blushed, in turn.

"Oh, we didn't make it. Nicked it from Flich first year. We need to go, see Mrs. Norris is heading our way." He said in a low tone, leaning in close so she could hear him. She looked at where he was pointing and he was right, Mrs. Norris wasn't too far off. The two headed down hallways and corridors, keeping to the shadows and being as silent as possible as they crept through the school. They made their way down to the dungeons. "I guess I didn't think about finding out the password." Fred admitted, rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

"Leave it to me." Hermione whispered, stepping up to the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. "Sang-pure." She said clearly and the wall moved aside, leading to a passageway.

"That was brilliant, 'Mione." Fred beamed at her. Hermione blushed.

"It was nothing, I overheard some Slytherin girls going into the common room on my way to Madam Pomfrey's office." Hermione shrugged, reminding herself why she was here. She was here to get revenge on a certain blonde haired prat, _not _to be feeling... well whatever she was feeling for the red head in front of her, currently leading her through the passage to the common room. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She ignored how her hand had tingled when he had grabbed it and they made their way to the boys dormitories. Entering the third year dormitories, they had no trouble finding a sleeping Draco. "You do his clothes, I have an idea." Hermione grinned evilly and handed him a phial. Fred mimicked her grin and nodded. He carefully and quietly opened the trunk and carefully doused everything in their with the essence. He quickly closed the trunk and muttered a spell so the smell would not rouse the sleeping snakes and Draco would not be able to notice the smell at all. He grinned and went to join Hermione in the bathroom. "There! All done." She smiled and waved her two empty phials at Fred.

"Almost perfect." He said. Hermione gave him a confused look. "What did you douse?" He asked.

"His toothpaste and his shampoo." She replied with a cocky smirk.

"Very nice." Fred complimented her. "Are you sure you don't do this more often?" He teased he and she blushed, but she didn't stop smiling. He muttered the same spell to keep the smell from rousing the Slytherins and so Draco wouldn't be able to smell it. "There, perfect." He smiled, taking a moment to appreciate his work.

"Yeah, perfect." Hermione smiled up at Fred, and he smiled down at her. He was about to say something when he heard stirring from one of the beds.

"We better go." He whispered and Hermione nodded. Fred grabbed her hand and the two made their way quickly and quietly out of the common room and back to the Gryffindor Common Room where they collapsed on the couch in front of the fire, absolutely exhausted.

"Oh Merlin that feels amazing! Now I know why you and George do it!" Hermione giggled. When she had finished, she looked up at Fred. "Thank you, Fred. I needed that." She gave him a soft smile.

"Anytime 'Mione. Everyone deserves to have fun, even you." He gave her a wink and she giggled. He grabbed her hands and pulled her standing when he stood up. He had pulled her right in front of him, so close she could see the tiny green specks in his eyes. She just stood there searching for words, as Fred bent down towards her. Just as she thought he was going to kiss her, her breath caught in her chest and her eyes closed in anticipation. Instead, he pulled her hands to his lips and gently kissed her knuckles. Her eyes fluttered open. "This was fun" He mumbled against her fingers, words for her ears only. "I want to do this again, promise me we will." He asked looking straight into her soul, into her warm honey eyes and she nodded.

"I promise." She whispered only for him. He smiled, a real and genuine smile.

"Then I will let you decided who your next victim will be. While you think, I will bid you good night." He brushed another kiss across her knuckles, before running a hand over her soft cheek and with a smile, he headed for his dormitory. Hermione just stood there in a daze, before drifting to her own dorm, and crawling into her own bed. _Tonight will be our secret_ she thought, before drifting off into the sweet embrace of slumber.


End file.
